To the boy who never loved me back

"When you have a good heart: You help too much. You trust too much. You give too much. You love too much." 

And that's exactly what happened when we met. I can remember the first time you texted. Those endless conversations were never meant to get silent. But they did.

Soon we started hanging out together, spending days and nights together. You driving all the way just to meet and spend time, sending the text every time you thought about me, feeling happy about us being the friends.

we became the best friends. You were the person who was not completing me but enhancing me in every way.

Soon I was falling for you. I was loving every oddity of you. You seem to be the man I always dreamt about. The way you held my hand I was losing every bit of me in you.

I could see the same love in you. I believed every compliment you gave me. I believed yes I am the one for you.

But, "No matter how good you are, sometimes you are not enough for someone." and I was not for you.

You could not love me the way I ever imagined you could. You had the wings to spread, but you decided not to. The more hesitant you were to love me completely, the more reluctant you were to get that love from me. The love which was true, which was pure, which was assured but you decided to play safe. You did not want to give your everything again. You wanted to safeguard your heart from hurt. You said you love me, but then your actions said a no.

Source: http://cdnstatic.visualizeus.com/

But boy, I loved you with everything I had and managed to love you the day I realized this truth. I may not be in your future, but I would create the past you would never forget.

I just Hope to be the one

In the darkness of the room,
There is just the shine of loneliness.
In the midst of the pain,
The only relief is the sadness.
There are wounds inside,
There is this deep hurt inside
And
The only medicine is hope..
Its killing
Its paining
Its miserably bad
But in the middle of this is just hope...
Hope of being the one
Hope of getting the one
Hope of achieving the one
Hope of living the one
Hope of surviving the one
Hope of winning the one
Hope of diminishing the one
Hope of emerging as the one
In the middle of this darkness
There is just the shine if this hope...

The Day he left...

Dear Diary,

Its so hard to go. To be away from him, to accept that the man who could not see tears in my eyes even if they were because of onion has left me to cry forever. He is no more interested in me. He no more needs me.

On whom should I be angry? him or me? Actually me. May be I deserve this.

I really do. How even I thought I deserve to be loved?  How even I thought someone would stay with me? How I expected someone would fight for me?  No one would and I m not that worth!

I wished if you could prove me wrong but you proved me right today.  I didn't lose you today but I lost myself, my belief, my happiness in the darkness of this pain.

I hate myself today, for giving myself so much of pain.

I m not able to cry. This pain is killing me from inside and you know what,  I will not cry, I will let it kill that girl inside, who believed in love, who trusted someone, who even thought that she was worth of something and let this pain kill that sweetness of her heart and make her girl with no feelings, like every other person is on this planet is.

                                                                ..........

She was made for this because she again believed. She was being someone that cannot exists in this world of cold hearts. She is now left with no choice.She has to let it go now, go far away, away from everything because nothing can be felt by her. There is no dream left in her eyes.

She has no more courage left to see herself in the mirror, where once she used to spent time embracing herself, getting ready for him, watch her from his eyes.. 

He became her every breathe she took, her every smile was dependent on his existence and today her room is dark filled laughter's of her loneliness.

She told him once that he was the reason she was loving herself,  and he promised to be there always.

Somewhere in her disagreement to his statement she believed in him.. and lost herself forever today.

source: http://favim.com/

Love-less Hope...

She loves someone..

The one who can't be with her. He don't love her back like he used to. He don't want her.

He is not sure about her. He want to be with her but also want her to hate him.

He fights to make her hate him. He has forgot everything that was between them.

He don't know what he wants. He wants to go and also wants to stay..

Where is she here..???

She is here loving him madly. either he shouts, says bad, behaves ridiculous, love her or don't love her, stays here with her or don't. She is here loving him, doing everything to calm him down, make him understand the strength of living in present, making him realize the love they have. She is here handling his fears, his doubts and making him believe that she will be with him, and will hold his hand as the future will unfold the fact of destiny for them.

She love him and will do..In just one hope that, as their fate bought them together, as god showed them signs to be together as they are made to be, they will be together one day forever.

She is still here in a hope waiting that fate to push him to the street down which brings him back to her and he stands outside her door and kneels down and tell her how stupid he was to do all this and he loves her and he is sorry for taking so much time to understand this.

Hope is the strength when love diminish...

I Still Wanna Live in Your Heart

Live in your heart..

Things are getting changed,

I still wanna live

Things are getting messy,

I still wanna live

Breaths are no longer available,

I still wanna live

Perception are generated either positive or negative,

I still wanna live

No matter we are far from each side,

I still wanna live

All the misconceptions building between us,

I still wanna live

There is a stagnant fight between us,

I still wanna live 

All those things between us

but I am happy that our hands holding each other with a will and a hope

But if the hands get separated and the fight goes to parallel

I am sorry but I can't resist as I don't want to live 

It's like I'll do like to be no more in of you if this happens