Dear Diary,
Its so hard to go. To be away from him, to accept that the man who could not see tears in my eyes even if they were because of onion has left me to cry forever. He is no more interested in me. He no more needs me.
On whom should I be angry? him or me? Actually me. May be I deserve this.
I really do. How even I thought I deserve to be loved? How even I thought someone would stay with me? How I expected someone would fight for me? No one would and I m not that worth!
I wished if you could prove me wrong but you proved me right today. I didn't lose you today but I lost myself, my belief, my happiness in the darkness of this pain.
I hate myself today, for giving myself so much of pain.
I m not able to cry. This pain is killing me from inside and you know what, I will not cry, I will let it kill that girl inside, who believed in love, who trusted someone, who even thought that she was worth of something and let this pain kill that sweetness of her heart and make her girl with no feelings, like every other person is on this planet is.
..........
She was made for this because she again believed. She was being someone that cannot exists in this world of cold hearts. She is now left with no choice.She has to let it go now, go far away, away from everything because nothing can be felt by her. There is no dream left in her eyes.
She has no more courage left to see herself in the mirror, where once she used to spent time embracing herself, getting ready for him, watch her from his eyes..
He became her every breathe she took, her every smile was dependent on his existence and today her room is dark filled laughter's of her loneliness.
She told him once that he was the reason she was loving herself, and he promised to be there always.
Somewhere in her disagreement to his statement she believed in him.. and lost herself forever today.
source: http://favim.com/
